Bug Vs. Microscope. Or, How to Piss off a Disabled Person

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Spawn number 3

Of my Spawn, there are 4. Spawn number 3 is of the female variety. She also happens to be blind and mildly autistic. She was born with something called Septo Optic Dysplasia/Optic Nerve Hypoplasia, AKA SOD/ONH or De Morsier's Syndrome. Since this is basically an umbrella term, covering a wide range of symptoms and degrees of symptoms, I think of it as a fancy way of saying "That girl aint right in the head".  Now, I was told that she would never walk or talk. I was told that she would never do a lot of things. My response was always the same. "Oh, yeah? You think so? WATCH HER!". Today, she's a 16 year old sarcasm machine.

Tons of things piss her off. But, nothing more than rude people, who can't understand how their desperate attempt to not be rude is exactly what's making them rude. How many times have I seen someone stare at her, trying to figure out what's "wrong" with her, like she's a bug under a microscope? It's ANNOYING! Or, parents who shush their small children, when the children have the good sense to ASK QUESTIONS! If you're curious, ASK,ASK,ASK,ASK! Believe it or not, a disabled person would rather answer your questions than endure your judgmental stares. Most don't take offense to curiosity. In fact, they see it as an opportunity to educate.

Disabled does not equal defaced! 

Here's another no no. Talking to the person next to the disabled person about them, like they aren't even there. That's happened to my daughter about a million times, and OH, how it chars her nerves. Someone will approach her in the mall and ask what's up with her. Since she flat out refuses to use her cane, she does draw curiosity. Asking was good. But, as soon as she answers, the asker turns to my daughters friends for answers. My daughter will stand there answering each question herself, but the asker moron will wait for the sighted friends to answer. Apparently, if you're blind, you're also deaf, mute, and unimportant. Really people???? REALLY???? If you are wise enough to ask the questions, please be smart enough to recognize when the person can answer for him/herself! 

Stereotyping is high on the no no list. Just because you've seen one person with this one disability does not mean that all people with that particular disability are the same. There are degrees, folks. And you have to remember the these are PEOPLE. People with individual an personality and traits. The young Spawn is getting very tired of people telling her that since she's blind she can't do this, that or the other thing, just because other blind folks can't. 

One of my favorite moments, where the kid made me SO PROUD, happened when she was just a wee smart arse. We were in the grocery store when we were approached by a curious woman. She wanted to know why the Spawn wasn't holding her head up, just down and cocked to the side. I told her that it was because she was blind, therefore had nothing to look up for.  She did talk directly to the she child, so that was a plus. The minus was in the volume increase. Ok, her heart was in the right place. But, somehow, her head found it's way to the dark-side of her butt. She was literally yelling in the kiddos face. Spawn is about 4 or 5 years old at this time. Without missing a beat, she lifted her little head and very clearly said "Lady, I'm blind. Not deaf." I. Died. Thankfully, the "Lady" was nice, and realized her mistake. And, thankfully she had a sense of humor! That was the first time the Spawns penchant for sarcasm made itself known. I was so proud! 

The things you need to remember are: people are people and all are different. Asking questions is better than staring and speculating. Don't be rude. Don't confuse a disability for stupidity. If a person can speak for themselves, LET THEM. They'll appreciate it more than you may realize.